Think Like Stone Soup: tackling one thing at a time for a richer life
There are several variations on the stone soup tale, but in each one, items — first a carrot, next a potato, then an onion, etc. — are gradually, deliberately added to a pot of boiling water, eventually making a hearty soup. Having that same mentality of tackling one item at a time in a deliberate, thoughtful way can eventually lead to building the kind of fuller, richer life that you want. I use this kind of thinking to work towards three main goals each month, and over several months, I make significant progress even towards unattainable, aspirational goals.
You don’t have everything you want at this instant. Perhaps you want a new car. Or, a new job. Or, a baby. You don’t have these things , but you want to have them. You only have boiling water, no soup. You want to eat a delicious, filling dinner rather than settle for drinking water and being hungry for more.
To have these big things that you want, something has to change. You will not wake up tomorrow and suddenly have these things, or, if you do, I wish you my congratulations on winning the lottery of life.
You do have something though. You have ingredients that can be used to work towards the things you want. So, before we try to fix what you don’t have, consider what you do have. There is a pot of boiling water. You also have ingredients to go into a soup like carrots, potatoes, and onions.
Take Inventory of Your Resources
When you think of the things you have, these are your resources, and no resource is necessarily worthless, no matter how small or seemingly silly. Whether it is a person, place, or thing (physical or otherwise, like time, love), these are the ingredients towards achieving stone soup. You place the carrots, potatoes, and onion on the counter. Oh, look, there’s a knife you can use to chop them.
When do you have TIME, an hour or half an hour today or in the near future?
It doesn't have to be a large chunk. Even 10 minutes at the end of the day a few days a week can add up to make a huge difference.
Think about when you have time and when you definitely don’t. Maybe every Tuesday you have an extra hour you can devote to something but no other day each week. It’s okay if you don’t have a whole day at any point.
Know what your limitations are as well as what you can commit to. Burning yourself out by trying to do too much won’t be good long-term.
What THINGS do you have access to?
Things can be things within the community that you can get to, like a park you can walk through or a library you can go to for books.
Things can also be things that you own, like having a large basement or a room in your house with storage. Do you own a car you can drive?
Do you have a steady job that will keep you grounded and stable if you pour some extra money into trying a side gig?
What PEOPLE can you call on for help?
Who are the people in your life who can help? These may be friends you can call either to talk with or to pick you up if you’re stranded. This may also mean a reliable babysitter, a neighbor who can pick up mail or check on your pets.
Choose 3 Goals
Consider your goals, and pick up to three to really think about for a while. If you choose too many to work towards, you may get stressed and scatter your efforts too widely to be effective. I focus on three goals each month because I have a monthly calendar that is visible for me to work on, and this is a good method for me. Others may find that thinking about this in different time periods, like a week, may be easier.
Note your top three goals in a visible place, somewhere you can see them. I use a monthly desk calendar and write my top three goals at the top of the monthly view. This calendar is in a place that I can see it every day, so it reminds me of my goals as well as my progress every day.
Each day, consider what you can do to work towards at least one of those three goals.
Even if my higher goal is general and impossible to finish, like “Improve finances,” I try to work towards each goal. For this example, maybe I could:
- Increase immediate earnings. Can I find a way to pick up an hour or two of side work for extra money on the weekend? Finding a way to make a little extra money as a regular thing can really add up after a while.
- Increase long-term earnings. Improving my professional life will ultimately help my earning potential, so writing a professional publication, going to a work conference, or learning a new skill can pay off down the road even though I may not see an immediate benefit in my paycheck.
- Learn. I can research tax breaks I may be eligible for or changes to retirement savings that let me save more efficiently. Researching credit cards and their rewards may yield a better financial product that gets me immediate and long-term gains. Maybe I can learn how to repair something in my house myself rather than having to pay someone to fix it.
- Reduce debt and expenses. By examine my recurring expenses, I may find expenses that I can get rid of. I may be able to find cheaper ways of getting the things I’m currently paying for, too.
What can you do TODAY to try to get a bit closer to ONE of your goals?
Pick one item to focus on for a short period of time, like a half hour writing in one evening to work towards finishing a novel or trying to get a professional publication finished. If you work on one of your goals in a day, write that goal or something that stands for it on that day on your monthly calendar. “Paper” = time spent drafting a professional publication that you think will get you towards that raise and a better job. “Finances” = time you spent examining your monthly expenses to trim wasteful recurring spending.
Writing these notes on a visible place creates a sense of victory and shows you at the end of the month all of the ways and times that you did something to work towards your goals. You may not achieve those big goals in a month. That’s okay and honestly probably normal depending on your goals. Carry the big goals over to the next month or switch one or two if you need to shift your focus.
These small steps, these moments of time and effort of work are working towards your goals. You are getting closer to what you want, even if you don’t see huge changes.
Be deliberate and slow. Focusing on one item at a time yields soup.
Don’t try to find a huge chunk of time or set aside massive resources. Make these small pieces of work part of your weekly habit. The point is to be deliberate about finding a little time and taking a carefully considered step to try to move forward.
If you try to put too much time and effort into working towards your goals, you may find yourself stressed out and burned out, ultimately further away from your goals and more unhappy. So, that’s why I recommend small steps and bits of time.
We don’t usually read a novel all in one sitting or move mountains in a day; we read one page and then go to the next. We move one stone and eventually move that mountain. Taking these deliberate, small steps moves mountains and breaks down large goals into manageable tasks. Don’t throw all of the vegetables into the pot of boiling water and expect it to turn into soup. Chop first the onion. Then chop the carrots. Then the potato. You can’t chop all of the vegetables at the same time well.
Sometimes there is no true endpoint to a goal, like with “Improve finances.” But, by taking a small step here and another step there, I will be better than if I had just thought, “Yeah, I should improve my finances,” or, “Gosh, I really wish I made more money.”
These small moments and tasks make the larger goals things that we can work towards one small step at a time rather than being too daunted by the enormity of the task to ever start. We have to start or we will forever be disappointed, in life and in ourselves. A happier, richer life is worth working towards, and most of us have time and energy that could get us closer to the kind of lives we want and the things we’d like to have.
